I worked for a Fortune 500 company for 17 years. Then one day I didn't. Here's the story.
While there won't be a test at the end feel free to add up all the political/interpersonal/ego-driven mistakes I made. (Use paper because you'll definitely run out of fingers.)

Years ago I was one of nine supervisors overseeing a production department in a book manufacturing plant. Hourly employee pay rates were determined by wage scales based on job and time of service. Eventually employees would hit the top of their scale and the only way they could earn a higher hourly rate was by receiving a merit raise.
Traditionally evaluations were held on promotion anniversaries so individual evaluation dates were scattered throughout the year. Then the plant decided to evaluate all employees eligible for merit increases at the same time: theoretically that would make the process more objective, allow for direct comparisons between employees, and make wage budgets more accurate.
This was the process:
  1. Supervisors were given two weeks to complete their evaluations.
  2. Supervisors then met individually with our manager so he could sense-check our ratings. (Never mind he was new to the department and his familiarity with most of our 300 employees was generally limited to, "You know, the tall guy who runs a stamper on 2nd shift," or, "I was talking to that girl who always says hi to me -- what was her name again?")
  3. Then we all met as a group to discuss the evaluations and, under the premise that nine heads were better than one, hash out who deserved merit raises. (If you've ever been part of multiple-input evaluations you can guess how that went… but I'm getting ahead of myself.)
  4. HR signed off on completed evaluations and merit raise recommendations. (Is there a bigger waste of time than having HR "approve" evaluations?)
  5. Supervisors met individually with direct reports to deliver the evaluations. Some employees received merit raises; most did not. (We had to stay within a specific budget.)
I had more direct reports than most of the other supervisors. I also had a higher percentage of employees eligible for merit raises since many of my employees were operators who had long ago topped out on the standard pay scale.

As I recall I had about 20 evaluations to complete. The other supervisors averaged six to eight. Forms were five to six pages long; in addition to productivity and quality we evaluated teamwork, leadership, attention to detail, communication skills, interpersonal skills... a wide variety of soft skills.

Evaluations are incredibly important to employees so I put a lot of effort into mine. I worked on them in my office, worked on them at home on my laptop... lots of back and forth, lots of printing and discarding and reworking. Plus raises are even more important than evaluations since a raise, however small, is not just a monetary reward but also a tangible validation of effort and achievement.

So I wanted mine to be perfect. (Unfortunately one was not.. oops, still getting ahead of myself.)
Eventually I turned in all my completed evaluations to my manager so he could look at them before he and I met individually. He was too busy to meet so we never did but that was fine with me since he didn't really know the people on the floor anyway.
Then, when we met as a group, things quickly went downhill.

***
I knew the meeting would be contentious. Some of the supervisors had been with the company for around thirty years and felt their opinions should never be questioned. They also realized that eventually the news of who received merit raises would spread across the shop floor like wildfire – and the last thing any supervisor wanted was to be perceived as having not "taken care" of their employees.

So yeah, we argued.

Here's an example of one of our discussions; let’s call the other supervisor “Justifius.”
Justifius: "Well, he's a great team player."
Me: "Your crew is running 10% under productivity standards. Doesn't sound like a lot of teamwork going on."
Justifius: "He's also a great leader."
Me: "Your crew is under standard. Where exactly is he leading them?"
Justifius: "He also has great people skills."
Me: "Since your crew is under standard wouldn't it be better if he had great productivity skills?"
Justifius: "Now look. At least one of my folks has to get a merit raise."
Me: "Hey, they could all get merit raises if they ran more books."
I know. I could have handled that better.
Here's another example. When I discussed one of my employees Justifius tried to get me back for steamrolling him:
Me: "He's had no quality complaints, is at 120% of standard, and trained three new operators. Plus he's the go-to guy for mechanical problems on his shift..."
Justifius: "Yeah, but what about his people skills? I hear he can be abrasive."
Me: "He's only abrasive when your guys try to borrow people they don't need."
Justifius: "Well, someone with poor interpersonal skills should not get a merit raise."
Me: "He's at 120% of standard."
Justifius: "And people tell me he sometimes doesn't start up right away at the beginning of his shift."
Me: "He's at 120% of standard."
Justifius: "Plus it seems like he's always in the break room."
Me: "How would you know that -- you spend a lot of time in the break room?"
Yep, could have handled that one better too.

By the end of the meeting six or seven of my employees were slated for merit raises; I think the most any other supervisor had was two. I had started to talk about my last employee when our manager (let's call him "Maximus") said, "Jeff, I think you have enough people getting merit raises. We need to spread the last few around."
"Hang on," I said. "That's not fair to my folks. We're supposed to identify the best employees and reward them, not just spread increases around so every supervisor can feel like they got their share."

"Well, performance is certainly the overall premise, but there are other factors that we must also consider," Maximus pronounced, clearly assuming I would shut up.
He assumed wrong. "Like what?" I said.
"Let's discuss that outside," he said.
When we were alone Maximus said, "Look, you came in here with all your facts and figures and productivity results and ran over everybody. You didn't even refer to your evaluation forms; you brought notes and productivity reports for every employee! I can't let you have that many more merit raises than everyone else. Team cohesion is really important and you're in there arguing like a lawyer."

"I thought treating employees fairly was really important," I said. "You told us to present our cases. I can't help it if other supervisors weren't prepared. Plus I'm lucky enough to have a lot of great employees and they shouldn't be punished because they happen to work in the same area. Oh, and I had to bring notes because you haven't given me my evaluation forms back." (Okay, so maybe he was right about the "arguing like a lawyer" thing.)

He glared at me for a few seconds and said, "I'm not going to argue about this any longer. You're done. No more merit raises for your area."

While I felt it was my job to not just advocate but fight hard on behalf of deserving employees and therefore had done nothing wrong, I could also tell I was beaten. So we went back inside and finished the meeting. I wasn't delighted with how it all turned out but that's par for the leadership course in a big company: win some, lose some, fight another day.
Then things really fell apart.
***
HR finally “approved” the evaluations and I started delivering mine to individual employees. Most sessions went well.

Then I got to an employee we'll call “Joey.”
Joey: "Before you go through everything, just tell me: did I get a merit raise?"
Me: "Okay; fair enough." I smiled and turned to the last page of the evaluation so I could tell him the amount of his raise. (I knew he had received an increase.) Then I noticed the rating; it was a 3.3. No employee could receive a merit unless they had a 3.5 or above overall rating. I glanced quickly at another page and saw the numbers and thought, "Oh crap... in all the back and forth between my work computer and my laptop I printed the wrong last page."
Me: "Hang on a second. I need to figure something out." I tried to think quickly. I needed to show him an evaluation signed by my manager and by HR, so simply printing another sheet wouldn't help. So I just told him what happened.
Me: "I screwed up. I don't have the right forms. Give me a day or so to straighten it out and I'll get back with you."
Joey: "Cool... but did I get a merit raise? I deserve one."
Me: "I really can't talk about it without the right paperwork. I'm sorry."
Joey: "That's okay. Just let me know when you're ready."

I felt really stupid. In all my back and forth I hadn't replaced the copy of his evaluation on my work computer with the up-to-date version from my laptop. I should have double-checked all my forms before I turned them in, especially since I had revised many of them a number of times.
But I didn't feel too badly where Joey was concerned. I knew he trusted me, knew it would all work out well in the end, and knew he would enjoy teasing me about my mistake every chance he could.

So I opened the file on my computer, changed the final rating so it was accurate, printed it, and stuck it in an envelope. I was going to be off for a few days so I added a note to our department's HR rep explaining what had happened. I also asked him to get with Maximus so he could sign off on the evaluation. Then I found Joey and told him I would have it all straightened out and would talk to him the day I returned.

I had made a stupid mistake, but all would be well.
I thought.

When I came back to work I stopped by Maximus' office. "Hey, I need to pick up Joey's revised evaluation. Sorry for messing it up the first time."
"There is no 'revised' evaluation," Maximus said.
"Why not?" I asked.

"We've given out enough merit increases. I took too much heat from for how many we awarded. I'm not going to go back and ask for more. That's one discussion I am not willing to have."
"I understand," I said, "but at the same time we agreed Joey deserved a raise. Shouldn't we make this right? I'll tell the plant manager it's all my fault. I'll take the heat."
"No," Maximus said. "Case closed. Deliver the evaluation as originally signed."
“But the numbers don’t add up right,” I said.
“I don’t care. Figure it out,” he said.

I walked away feeling terrible. Joey deserved a raise he wouldn't get because I had screwed up.
I was still trying to decide exactly what to say to Joey when the HR manager paged me. I walked into her office… and there were Joey and Maximus.
HR manager: "Joey and Maximus came to see me to talk about Joey's evaluation. Joey feels he deserves a merit increase."
Me: "I know. I'm meeting with Joey today to go over it."
HR manager: "Well, I hope his evaluation is a good one. While we were waiting Joey has been telling us about everything he does. He sounds like an outstanding employee. I think he deserves a merit raise."
Maximus: "No argument there -- Joey is one of our very best employees."
My eyes got big. I looked at my boss, who had suddenly found his fingernails to be of great interest.
I looked at Joey, who was smiling. Who doesn't like hearing they do a great job?
What was I supposed to do now?
**
While the situation had suddenly gotten confusing, there were a few things I was clear about. I knew Joey was not getting a raise. I knew his evaluation would not be as glowing as he deserved.

And I knew, especially after what my manager and the HR manager had just said, that Joey was going to be upset.

So I said, "Joey, I hate to ask you this, but can you step outside for a moment? You didn't do anything wrong. There's just something the three of us need to discuss privately. I promise we'll get you back in here in a few minutes."

He looked confused but left. What else could he do?
When he was outside and the door was closed:
Me: "This is a mess. I just met with Maximus and he told me Joey will not get a merit raise. Now you're both telling him he deserves a raise. What am I supposed to do with that?"
Maximus: "Look, when I saw him in the hall I thought you could use a little help talking to him..."
Me: "I don't need any help talking to him. That conversation will suck but I can handle it. But now it's going to be a lot harder since you both told him he deserves a raise."
HR manager: "Well, he does."
Me: "I agree, but I've also been told he's not getting one. That's the reality we have to deal with." I briefly explained what had happened so the HR manager would be up to speed. Then I looked at my boss.
Me: "Of course you can always change your mind about giving him the raise we agreed to." He squirmed but didn't say anything.
HR manager: "I think we need to discuss this more."
Me: "I'm up for it, but we can't leave Joey out there wondering what's up."
So we brought Joey back in. He knew I had screwed up the paperwork on his original evaluation, so I told him we still hadn't sorted it all out but I would get with him tomorrow to clear everything up, and he left.
HR manager: "I still don't understand why there were different copies of his evaluation."
Me: "I worked on evaluations at work and at home. I revised them a number of times, printed copies in different places... and when I was putting the final copies together I attached an older version of his last page. When we met to discuss raises I shared the right final rating from my notes and we all agreed he deserved a raise. But I turned in the wrong form and didn't realize it until I was giving him his evaluation. So then I printed the right copy and sent it to you guys to sign. It's my fault. I messed up the paperwork."
HR manager: "Makes sense, I suppose. You guys created a mess you need to clean up, so I'll leave you to it."
My boss told me he and I needed to talk before I spoke with Joey. I said I would. Then he rushed off to another meeting.
***
An hour later I was paged and told to report to the plant manager's office. Maximus and the HR manager were also there.
Plant manager: "I'm very disturbed by what I've heard."
Me: "I know. I’m sorry. I screwed up his evaluation forms and it's gotten worse from there. But don't worry. I'll talk to him and do my best to straighten things out."
Plant manager: "I'm not worried about that. I'm disturbed by what you've done."
Me: "I know. The last thing I should do is mess up an employee's evaluation. I feel terrible. I'm sorry."
Plant manager: "Well, there is that. But what I'm more concerned with is the fact you falsified documents."
Me (stunned): "What?"
Plant manager: "We took a look at the file on your computer. It appears you modified that file after you talked to Joey, not before. It's clear you decided to change his evaluation because you were afraid to tell him he would not receive a raise."
Me: "I did change the file after I talked to him. I realized I had submitted an older version of his evaluation, so I revised the copy on my computer to accurately reflect his rating so I could print it. I have the one that has been correct all along on my laptop."
Plant manager: "I'm afraid I have to disagree. You changed his evaluation because you wanted to avoid an uncomfortable conversation with an employee."
Me (laughing): "Uncomfortable? Joey is as about as confrontational as a golden retriever. I could tell him he was getting fired and he would find some way to thank me. If you want 'uncomfortable' you should have sat with me when I told Roger he wasn't getting a merit raise."
Plant manager: "You know that is not what happened. You need to be honest with us."
Me: "I am. I can prove it. My laptop is in my car. Check those files. Plus Maximus was in the meeting when we reviewed Joey's performance. He knows how I rated Joey. Otherwise he wouldn't have agreed to give him a merit raise."
Maximus: "I did not keep notes of that meeting and do not recall any specific information about any individual employees. What I do recall is that you were upset when more of your employees were not awarded raises so you clearly have tried to find a way around my direct instructions."
Me: "Are you kidding?" (Snappy comebacks were beyond me at this point.)
Plant manager: "Here are your options. If you admit you falsified the evaluation you will face disciplinary action but you will be allowed to keep your job. If you do not you will have lost my confidence and we will terminate your employment."
I was stunned. I again suggested that Maximus go to my car and get my laptop. I asked them to call other supervisors in so they could verify the discussions about Joey from the meeting.
No and no. Meanwhile...
HR manager: "There is one other option..."
Plant manager: "Oh. That's right. If we fire you then you will receive no severance pay. You are a long-term employee who has consistently received superior evaluations so if agree to resign we will give you eight week's severance. But we need your written resignation explaining that you are voluntarily leaving the company, and we need that today."
I didn't know what to do. I could just pretend I falsified the evaluation and keep my job. Or I could say, "This is wrong and you'll have to fire me." But then I would be out of a job and without severance.

Or I could resign and have eight weeks pay to tide me over while I found another job.
While I'd like to say I went out in a fiery blaze of self-righteous glory, I resigned and went out with slightly fuller pockets instead.

Morals of the story?
  • Never screw up important documents.
  • Never assume doing what you think is the right thing will be misinterpreted.
  • Never assume HR only has employees' best interests at heart.
  • Never assume solid performance will overcome a reckless disregard for playing well in the sandbox.
  • Never assume your boss will stand up for you... especially when you've given him no reason to like you.
Now it’s your turn: ever gotten fired and thought, “What just happened?”
(photo bigstockphoto.com)

I also write for Inc.com:

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